## Introduction
In a world where self-centered pursuits often take center stage, Christian marriage stands out as a radiant testimony of God’s covenant love. Far from being merely a romantic arrangement or a social contract, marriage created by God is a living portrait of His faithfulness and grace. Christian couples have the extraordinary privilege—and responsibility—of showing the beauty of the gospel not only to each other, but to all who witness their union. How can we pursue God’s mission for marriage? How can spouses grow spiritually together, pointing others to Christ through daily love, forgiveness, and service? Let’s explore, turning to Scripture and the wisdom of those who have gone before us.
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## The Marriage Covenant—More Than a Contract
Marriage in the Bible is not merely a legal agreement—it is a sacred covenant, mirroring the relationship between Christ and His church. Consider Paul’s command in Ephesians 5:25:
**“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB).**
The term "agapao" (Greek for love) here signifies a self-giving, unconditional devotion that persists not because it is earned, but because it reflects Christ’s sacrificial heart. John Calvin, commenting on this passage, notes that Christian husbands are to “prefer the interests of their wives to their own”—demonstrating a daily imitation of Christ's humility and self-offering¹. This is not just for husbands: the spirit of sacrificial love and honor is called for from both partners, as mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21) anchors the whole teaching.
**Strategies for Living the Covenant:**
- **Practice daily acts of service and sacrificial love.** Small gestures—making coffee, running errands, offering sincere encouragement—cultivate a climate of grace.
- **Pray with and for each other regularly.** Praying together fosters intimacy with God and each other, affirming your shared dependence on Him.
- **Seek unity in decision-making.** Respect each other’s opinions and giftings, aiming for consensus in major choices.
Matthew Henry observed, "Those who have the government of others must be for their good"²—a principle that applies in the sphere of marriage as much as anywhere else.
**Key Takeaway:**
See your marriage as a daily opportunity to reflect Christ’s selfless love. When both spouses commit to serving one another, the atmosphere shifts from entitlement to gratitude, from duty to joyful devotion.
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## Communication—Grace and Truth in Every Conversation
Healthy marriages are built on more than shared beliefs; they thrive on consistent, grace-filled communication. Paul instructs,
**“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6, NASB).**
In biblical times, salt not only flavored food, it preserved it from decay. Matthew Henry interprets Paul’s metaphor as a reminder that our words should be wise, wholesome, and tempered with Christ’s compassion³. This does not mean we avoid the truth, but that truth is always paired with kindness and patience.
**Tips for God-Honoring Communication:**
- **Choose words that uplift, even in disagreement.** Aim to build rather than break down.
- **Make time for honest, grace-filled conversations.** Set aside distractions and create regular spaces to share hearts, dreams, and even struggles.
- **Listen deeply before responding.** As James says, “…everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19, NASB).
Open communication is a spiritual discipline—a way of acknowledging God’s design for unity and peace in your marriage. Charles Spurgeon once advised couples to "season their words with grace and love, so that no bitterness takes root in the home"⁴.
**Key Takeaway:**
Let every conversation, whether ordinary or difficult, be seasoned with grace and truth. Healthy communication is not just a marital skill, but a means of displaying God’s transforming work within you.
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## Serving God Together
The calling on every Christian household is to serve God faithfully amidst a world with competing loyalties. Joshua’s bold proclamation remains a model for Christian families today:
**“But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15, NASB).**
Joshua made this vow before a nation choosing between false gods and true worship. In our own era, couples have countless choices for their time, energy, and allegiance. To stand together in service of Christ is a powerful, countercultural witness.
John Calvin notes that the family is the “nursery of the church,” where faith is cultivated first⁵. Serving God as a couple does not require extraordinary resources or platforms—it begins with faithful stewardship of what God has given.
**Practical Ways to Serve God Together:**
- **Volunteer together in church or community outreach.** Whether you serve on a hospitality team or mentor youth, ministry partnership draws you closer.
- **Host Bible studies or prayer groups in your home.** Open your doors and hearts to create a place of discipleship.
- **Support each other’s spiritual gifts and callings.** Celebrate how God uses each of you differently—cheering on your spouse’s ministry is kingdom work.
As you serve together, you will experience both challenges and rich growth. In the words of Matthew Henry, “Families that pray and serve together, stand firm against the attacks of the world”⁶.
**Key Takeaway:**
Pursue a purpose bigger than yourselves. Serving God as a couple multiplies your influence and joy and strengthens your bond.
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## Conclusion: Marriage for a Greater Mission
Christian marriage is not ultimately about fleeting happiness or personal fulfillment—it is about displaying the redemptive love and faithfulness of our Savior to the world. When couples anchor their relationship in Christ, practicing sacrificial love, gracious communication, and united service, their marriage becomes both a refuge and a lighthouse to the watching world.
**Call to Action:**
This week, intentionally practice one act of sacrificial love for your spouse—perhaps forgiving a past hurt or serving without being asked. Then, set a goal to serve God together, whether by praying for friends, volunteering, or opening your home.
**Reflective Question:**
How is your marriage telling the story of God’s love? What changes—small or big—might help you more fully embrace God’s mission for your union?
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### Bible Verses Cited
- Ephesians 5:25, NASB
- Colossians 4:6, NASB
- Joshua 24:15, NASB
- Ephesians 5:21, NASB
- James 1:19, NASB
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### Footnotes
1. John Calvin, *Commentary on Ephesians* (https://www.ccel.org/ccel/calvin/calcom42.v.xvii.html)
2. Matthew Henry, *Commentary on Ephesians 5* (https://www.christianity.com/bible/commentary.php?com=mhc&b=49&c=5)
3. Matthew Henry, *Commentary on Colossians 4* (https://www.christianity.com/bible/commentary.php?com=mhc&b=51&c=4)
4. Charles Spurgeon, *Advice for Christian Couples* (https://www.spurgeon.org/resource-library/sermons/632-advice-for-seekers/)
5. John Calvin, *Commentary on Joshua 24* (https://www.ccel.org/ccel/calvin/calcom06.vii.xv.html)
6. Matthew Henry, *Commentary on Joshua 24* (https://www.christianity.com/bible/commentary.php?com=mhc&b=6&c=24)
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**Tags:** Christian marriage, gospel witness, biblical love, spiritual growth, communication, serving God